I Never Wanted Your Heart

I never wanted your heart

Will never want you
To tear a part of yourself out

Be less whole

A fragmented sense of self

I’ve only ever wanted
For you to understand
I am capable and worthy
Of seeing what it holds

Magnetism

“Adulting
It happens
When two adults who are feeling
Intense emotions
Are sane and rational about it”
-Karen

I’ll tuck you away today
Play with you in my fantasies
Why not relish
This time and space

Sometimes I feel guilty
For how intensely
I feel
We’re glimmering
At the words
Eyes sparkling
Drawing each other’s breath

Last night I couldn’t sleep
We existed
With
Each other
A way of seeing
Of knowing
Beyond ourselves
And totally within ourselves
The goddess
To your god
The reunification
Of light

To feel all this
In partnership
With another
It’s tricky
And scaly
And full of that
Which is hard
To explain
I keep waiting for it to end
Part of me prays it does not
Part of me knows it won’t
Others say I’m bat shit crazy

I don’t know what I am.

It’s been two months
Which is so little
Yet you feel big
Curling into my heart
Lazily
Excitedly
All of it
Squirming between
My legs
In my ears
And when you see me
And I you
Is it false
Hormonal impulse
Or deepest truth
Treading lightly
Around
What feels like
The infinite abyss
All of it
And none of it

I’ll stay away tonight
In communication form
We said almost too much
Last night
Whispered at the abyss
Losing ourselves completely
Not foolish
But fullness

I know it’s time
To share this
I’ve expected jealousy
More so insecurity
And found her strong
Compersive
Not tonight
But soon
I’ll know
It’s shimmering
Inside of me
And I can’t hide from it
And my deepest truth
Is not too

And if you become
Another project
Or are another way to interject
Stress
Into my life
I’ll be fucking mad
Because I feel so much more than petty
I feel full
Connected
Intertwined
Magnetized
You said
You didn’t know what I did to you
And damn
Do I feel the same
A casual fuck
And you’ve become
Poetry
Awakening
And I’m finding me
In this chaos of work stress
And fear of hurting
Someone I love
It’s all in the cards
We’ll see the draw

Let Go

You can love them
Full of wonder and heart
When you shed the fear
Of being not enough

You awaken the reality
Of oneness
Through loving difference
All absolves to stardust
Spirit
And all that fucking love

We’re all afraid
We’re taught to be
A feeling of disconnect
Sense of loss
Not being enough

In truth we’re far more
We’re capable
And heartstrong
We shall overcome

Sing Me a Love Song

Boy girl how I love you sweetly

Hoping that you’ll meet me

Painting stories cross the ceiling

Boy girl you pull at me and feed me

What I get from you is plainly

Different and I’m saying

You both fill me up insanely

Where do we go from here

No map drawn out

No images to follow

So I talk it out

Work hard to live in transparency

Show up honestly and with integrity

I’m worth it don’t you know

Full of heart and touch

And all the good stuff

I’ll twist in bed with you for hours

Cheerlead your personal power

Be with you through the shit

We all have to go through it

And you know it’d be legit

When you fall in love to double it

Boy girl how I love you sweetly

Hoping that you’ll meet me

Painting stories cross the ceiling

Boy girl you pull at me and feed me

What I get from you is plainly

Different and I’m saying

You both fill me up insanely

The Bridge

I had hoped you’d meet me on the bridge. Least walk me home when you could not stay. Instead you sent a mocking bird. To cry you could not make it. You hid far away from the truth. That that bridge was only there. Because we’d built it too
-self deception

Dust

In my one hand

I hold the dust

Of what we had

In the other

I hold the healthy heart

My primary

Her beat reminds my own

As I let the dust drift through fingers

Opening slowly

To let you go

Sex Magic

Enticing new lips

New energies

Loving to wrap my me around your you

See how it fits

I won’t dampen my bigness

I come off strong

Not everyone can handle that

Fill up to the brim with you

See how it spilleth over

Maybe I’m still that kid

Parents said to watch out for

Boy crazy

Maybe the times come

To get witchy

Put my energy somewhere else

To ignite

Diving

Tonight

Cards were laid

Painting a story

Of a future I’ve been spelling

Writing into existence

Processing by myself

Whispered in the quiet

To the Seattle skyline

Finding the dissonance

Not so staggering

Finding the connection

Of so much more

Then you and I

Building something greater inside

A fullness

An idea fruiting

As passions push me further

searing with a knife of truth

Can I wake up to you

To myself

To the truth of what is

And will be

I’m treading lightly

But with sureness alighting

The more I search within

The more I find strength

And the ability to create

More of the connection

I once dreamed of

And choosing not

To dissapear

Into you

Only cements my hopes

As I allow them breath

Staying grounded

Even as the ecstasy

Scores me high

Your fingers

Pressed heart into my body

Igniting truths unknown

How Strange a path may weave

When you let cadence flow

When stepping back to reflect

And when finding

Someone so different

Yet sets just right

Alongside my body

My thoughts

My perspective

And yours shifting

As the river keeps pulling

The construction

Of something so much more

Including many

And far beyond

A normative consciousness

And you are both going with me

Slowly

And I’m taking your hands

And more

Leading the way

Pulled by the spirit

By the possibility

Of so much more

Then what we were promised

As children

In our beds

Coddled to a reality

That never fit

That no one wanted

That was sold as the epitome

Of how family should be

And I’m traipsing through the woods

Finding a new way to move

In this magical world

One must simply open to

To inspire the sight

Partnership

She’s watching me mourn
Holding me through it
The loss of another
she doesn’t take pleasure
That my other is gone
She worries and cautions

I’ve never had a partner love me
Through a break up.
It’s strange
And kind
It’s building
I’m blessed it’s mine

My Truth Laid Bare