Stardust
Sitting with myself
I know it's key
Being here with my demons
My saints
And all the fuckers in between
The angry teen
The jaded alcoholic
The excited zest of the child
Why are you so hard to be with
What made me ashamed
Avoidant
Pleasure seeking lapping up the fullness of everything
Who am I and why
Why!?!!
And how much control do I have over myself
How much change can I create
And do I believe that will shift the existence around me
or am I just a cog spinning in a stupid system of greed
Or am I stardust?
Am I all that has ever been and ever will be
Am I the timeless confused by this strange human experience
Am I building the next of which I can not currently explain
And won't i be able to do that better
With all of you
alongside me
Sweet friends and dreaded enemies
If only I could hold you all, cuddle away the tears, shame, pain and humiliation
I'm so very good at wrapping my lean strong body around another
Why not lay tonight with all of you
Tease out the truth with my eyes
Allow my heart to welcome all that you think is in deficit
Forgive myself my sleights
Be okay with wanting the unknowable
Be ok with change
And why I became who I am
Stardust
Winter Solstice
Endings beget beginnings
And here we are
Recognizing this beginning
This end of a year
In the heart of winter
The darkest night
We light candles
Calling back the light
We call into the light
What we hope to transpire
What we fight and push for
What we resist
And what we birth
In this moment together
It’s in recognizing loss
That we can start anew
Welcome back the sunlight
Into our world
As we make it
Every moment is choice
And I thank you
For choosing this
For choosing awakening
Community
Food and spirit
And what we can be
What we’ve been walking towards
Each day
We the Saviors
We the Monsters
Hide from your anxiety
In a bottle
Or show the fuck up
For yourself
Sit in the pain
When you know your monsters
You no longer drink
To the bottom
You say hello
And find out what’s up
For you
We are our own monsters
And our saviors
In the simple act
Of taking that breath
Reaching into the black bag
We all carry
And discover the true meaning
Of what haunts us
Coddle the sweet child
All those monsters
End up being
Make your monster giggle
And know
You’ll always be there
For yourself
Or drink up boo
Be the monster
Be the savior
It’s all ok
It’s all in your hands
Just know
You choose
Filth Pervading the Sky
Filth pervading the sky
I’m told
We are the problem
The reason forests ablaze
To do my part
In reducing fossil fuels
Not fuck the water
The land
With single use plastics
They’re not wrong
It is human interaction
That’s caused the summers
To be clouds of smoke
The rainforest is on fire
Are you scared yet
Yeah
Can you do more
Sure
But why is this my fault
Why is this not the fault
Of people in power
The American government
Allowing big business
To burn and sell and mine
Coal
To frack and fuck
The land
We are an incredibly powerful country
Our wealth
Built on the backs of slaves
Continually built by slaves
Now known
As prisoners
Whose only regress
Was being poor
Usually black
Same story
Same racist shit
Of a genus
That became alpha
Through derision
Through othering
When will the spiritual landscape shift
From us against them
Where humanity is broken
Against itself
Against all animal kind
Against this planet
That is our life blood
Whose waters make up
Almost all of us
I know
The shift is happening
Now
Or maybe I’m wrong
And some of us
Have always been there
And it’s the fightful few
Hungry for domination
Who have gotten the power
To fuck that connection
Rather
Ignore it
Avoid it
Because knowing all are one
Pulls away
From their ability
To claim
Specialness
Regardless
I live in the time
Of the tipping point
And I’m fed stories
It’s too late
Some quite factual
Yet I hold out faith
There is more
To the story
Then I’ve been told
I know that’s true
Yet I fear
I’ve lived in and through
The tipping point
The broken were elected
Through a broken system
And now we will all watch
The waste of this world
Miraculous
And full
Soon burned to a crisp
Soon
Uninhabitable
By our sad and frail frames
Our intelligence
Laid waste
Through our own
Insensitive proclivities
But if we could drop the ego
Step into interconnectedness
Would we not flourish
So I won’t have children
I don’t believe I can leave
Them with a hope
And I’ll continually question
Until the end
Until it’s obvious there’s no hope
Unless there is